Freeza



Check this picture out. I've got a theory that Dragonball Z is nothing more than a giant "pull my finger" joke. Check out Piccolo's beam canon, or how about Vegeta's gallet gun, and Freeza himself's either about to make a gastronomical statement ala Pilaf or else he's got a glowing boogie on his finger. Anyway, I will yet again turn the floor over to Prowling Wolf. Boy howdee!

Frieza. Hmmm....it this a male or female alien? They say it’s a "he", but "he" talks like a 50 year-old woman. Like Eartha Kitt, really. It makes him sound all cat-like and witchy. He wears black lipstick and nailpolish. Maybe he’s a hermaphrodite like Piccolo. But his dad is *King* Kold. Sigh. That why I like Sayiajins and Humans: they have apparent male/female lines. Frieza blew up the planet Vegetasai/Vegeta/ Planet Plant and all the Sayaijins on it excluding the ones you see.(except for in the Bardock/Baadock special.) Hmm, ever notice those Sayiajins seem to named after plants? It’s surprise since they seem to be pretty darn good at hunting (might I direct your attention to the first ep in DB where Goku catches that big fish? And the fact that he eat frogs and snakes...) Freiza is the most powerful being in space at the time. He goes to the planet Namek and trys to steal the Namekian dragonballs from them to wish for (dum dum dum dramatic reverb!) immortality. If he had just asked nicely, perhaps he would have succeeded. If he hadn’t been terrorizing them, the Z boys would have not had grounds to beat him into a bloody pulp, now would they? Can’t you just see Frieza being nice? Freiza: ZARBON! You give that nice man back his dragonball! Ha! Gohan, Krillin and Vegeta have a go at him, but Vegeta gets killed when Goku steps in. Goku gets his arse kicked but, when Freiza kills Krillin, Goku goes the infamous SSJ and it’s tit for tat for a while until Goku finally releases that \\$#@^ spirit bomb and blows him (and the planet) to smithereens and escapes on one of the Ginyu Force’s pods. Part of Frieza, like half the torso containing the heart and head are left and since he can breathe in outerspace, he floats around until Daddy comes to check up on his little guy. He gets the mechanics to build him a new body and Freiza comes out looking like a patchwork quilt. Eventually both he and his dad are blown completely up by Trunks. Serves that little beeyotch right! Blowing up the Sayiajins! I’m glad Trunks got him. Right on, Trunks, right on!

Thanks for handling this one, I was so tired of this lengthy saga by the time it ended that I couldn't stomach regurgitating his evil frolicking, even for the sake of the DB/Z Gallery.v